When I Was A Boy

This is an essay from my upcoming short book entitled “We Were Children Once.”

When I was a boy, the whole world seemed enormous. Growing up felt like a constant game of catch-up, trying to fit into a world that was far too big for me. I remember the day I could finally touch the ground while sitting on my bike – what a day that was! And when I walked across the crossbar of Mom's clothesline, it felt like balancing on a tightrope high in the sky, even though it was barely taller than Dad.

The world can be a tricky place for us little guys, because it's made by grownups, for grownups. We're born into it, and everyone expects us to grow up as fast as we can. But the great outdoors, now that's a different story! It's like it was made just for kids. Maybe it's because the One who made it loves children and created a wonderful playground that's best enjoyed from near the ground level.

One of my favorite places was a small clump of trees on the edge of our property. My brothers and I called it our "forest," even though it was really just a windbreak. But to us, it was a whole world of adventures. The ground beneath the trees was like a secret hideout, with branches forming a curtain all around us. We climbed those pines, getting sticky sap everywhere. I guess kids climb trees to see the world from a grownup's point of view. Things look different from up high; they look much smaller.

Pine trees are the best trees for climbing. When God made them, I think He had boys in mind. He made them easy to climb, but not too easy, and He put sticky stuff under the bark that drives moms crazy when they're trying to keep their kids clean. Some pines, like the ones in our forest, even have little pockets of sap that explode when you hit them with a hammer, sending sticky globs flying everywhere! And boy, is that sap hard to get off. But God gave moms a secret weapon: hairspray. It works like magic.

We had so many adventures in those pines. But then we moved away, and I grew up. Years later, when I had kids of my own, I went back to visit that old house. The "forest" had grown taller, but it also seemed smaller. I had grown taller too. The trees, just like me, were different. I wondered if any kids had climbed them since we left. It made me a little sad to think they might not have. Do you think trees miss the kids who used to play in their branches? Just like playgrounds get rusty when nobody plays on them, do trees feel lonely too?

The world doesn't seem as big to me now that I'm a grownup. I don't climb trees much anymore, and clotheslines are hard to find. At 44, I probably wouldn't climb one even if I saw it. All the places I loved as a kid seem smaller now. And as they've shrunk, my problems have grown bigger. Grownups always seem to be worrying about something. Maybe it's because the bigness of nature doesn't hide our problems from us anymore. Maybe that's how God planned it, to protect kids from grownup worries with the fun of climbing trees, splashing in streams, and catching bugs. I'm glad He did!

I'm glad because even though I have grownup problems now, I still have the memories of my childhood adventures. And I have the hope that the same One who made the world for kids to enjoy will one day make it all new again, giving us a second chance at a childhood that will never end.

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Finding Power and Purpose in Your Private Pain - Part 2